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Our high season's been a great one, and fall looks promising. As I go through my end of summer notes, etc. I laughed out loud at a few things I came across. We tend to dwell on the nightmares, and forget the silly things we encounter! So I thought I'd share a few! (Couldn't make this stuff up, in my wildest imagination!)
Guest: " Uh, did you find a pair of underwear I may have left, possibly in the laundry?" My answer," No" . Reality: Housekeeper found them ON the ceiling fan in a bedroom!! ( Another group left a pair on top of the curtain rods - thank gawd the hosuekkeper saw those!!)
Guest: 'Does the ocean always make so much noise at night?" How DO you respond to that? " No, the heavens turn the volumn down after 10:pm to be in compliance to the Noise Ordinance" ?
Guest: " Are those lizards in the yard poison? My dog ate one" WHAT? These are 2 inch long little guys. My answer "No , they are chamelions. He'll be okay, unless he's allergic to lizards. Youll find area vet listings in our Welcome book"
Guest: " Are there any Adult book stores close by? We just want to make sure our kids don't have access. REALLY? My response " No" ( these people didn't list anyone under the age of 25 in their group)
AND the best! from a guest who stayed over Memorial Day weekend - "We've discovered we conceived our child during our stay at your home. Would it be possible for you to mail us a bloom from one of your outdoor plants so we can place it in our Memory Book?" UH, no. (I hope the neighbors didn't hear that rendevouz!!)
"Tis a crazy world we work in, and sometimes we have to remember the funny stuff more than the awful!
We asked our on-island rep what funny questions she gets from guests. Her favorites:
Guest (meeting rep in person at the ferry dock): "Do you live here?" No, I commute from New Jersey.
Guest: "Do the islands go all the way down?" No, they float on top always staying in the same place. Seriously? This was a real question!
Departed Guest: "Did you find a bra on the mermaid sculpture?" This was not our house and yes, she found it all right!
Maybe too much rum?
"This is my first visit to another country." (That's wonderful...except Hawaii is in the USA. It's the 50th State --- since 1959!)
I was asked this, after the person arrived:
"I've been researching and planning my trip for months. How far is the drive to Pearl Harbor?"
It would be a loonnng, tough journey by car. The FLIGHT takes 1 hour to reach Oahu, where Pearl Harbor is --- on a different island! A fact that she missed while researching and planning her trip for months.
And, like stjvilla's guest, someone upon arrival asked me:
"Do you live here?" Where would I be commuting from? Honestly, that's just the most amazing question that anyone has ever asked me. This place is in the middle of flipping nowhere thousands of miles away from any other land mass -- isolated in the center of the Pacific Ocean. Hawaii is 2,390 miles from California; 3,850 miles from Japan; 4,900 miles from China; and 5,280 miles from the Philippines.
Today's chuckIe!!!! have one more to add: Last night I got a call from our guests in residence..
Distressed Mom " Our 5 year old has locked himself in the bathroom! What do I do?!!!"
ME: "What? There are no locks on that bathroom door?"
Distressed Mom " Well, he's crying & upset!"
ME: " You do know that the door to that bath opens INWARDS?"
Mom: --- Silence. Then: "Oh! You're right! OUR doors don't work that way." " OKAY, he's fine now."
WHO are these people? And how do they get through life? Should we band together & write book?
I guess being on an island in a state of islands we are just lucky LOL
Recently had an inquiry from a woman, listed the other guests that would be with her and mentioned that her other son would be returning from deployment that week. Red flag to me that he was not on her list of guests and I didn't think he'd be redeploying to our island unless maybe he was guard, so I asked about the son and military status, where stationed etc and explained that we had no major military stationed here. She replied that he was a marine, stationed in Kaneohe etc. so I replied with the facts, Oahu vs Big Island etc. her reply, "guess that would be too far to drive". But at least her last was to thank me for explaining as she really didn't know. So much for Google earth/maps LOL